Haruhi in Wonderland
by HaruChanSatoba
Summary: Haruhi Suzumiya is oblivious to the fact that she can alter reality and make whatever she thinks of real. What if she dreams up the same world of wonders that only one little girl knew about? Rated K for now, may change later.
1. Boring Lessons and a White Rabbit?

Chapter 1: Boring Lessons and…a White Rabbit?

Haruhi Suzumiya and her best friend, Kyon, sat on the edge of North High's riverbank reserve and while Kyon read the history lesson aloud to Haruhi, she sat in the tree nearby, idly making a daisy chain for Kyon's cat, Shamisen.

"Haruka and Kotare, the earls of Osaka and North Nagoya, declared by him, and even Kamiyachi-san…Haruhi," Kyon made sure his bored-as-hell friend was paying attention. She made her famous pelican-sulk face and looked at him.

"Oh, I'm listening," Haruhi replied, and she finished up the daisy chain as Kyon kept reading.

"…And even Kamiyachi-san, the Shogun of Nagasaki came to Noburu and offered him the crown." She finished the daisy chain, and put it on Shamisen's head, giggling. Shamisen knocked the chain off his head, and onto Kyon's. "Noburu's conduct, at first, was modest…Haruhi!" He said angrily. She looked at him, still bored.

"Yes, Kyon-kun?" She asked.

"Would you please pay attention to your history lesson?" Kyon asked, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Oh, so-RRY. But how in Japan's name am I supposed to pay attention to a book with no pictures or conversations in it?" She retorted sarcastically, sounding very annoyed.

"Haruhi, there are tons of books in this world that DON'T have pictures." Now it was Kyon's turn to sound annoyed.

"In this world, perhaps…but in _**my**_ world, the books would be nothing BUT pictures," said Haruhi, thinking aloud. _Uh-oh…Haruhi's thinking again. And when she thinks, there's just no stopping her…_ Kyon worriedly thought. _Better say something, maybe to stop her from thinking so much…_

"Your world?" Kyon asked. "That's a load o' nonsense…" _That should do it…_ Kyon thought.

"Nonsense…that's it, Shamisen!" Haruhi said with a tone of genius in her voice. _Oy, I only made it worse…_Kyon thought. _Now Nagato-san's never gonna hear the end of it when she hears about this…_

"If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrariwise, what it is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be it would. Ya see, Shamisen?" She rambled, placing him on a nearby branch. _Nya_, he said.

"In my world, you wouldn't say 'Nya'. You would say, 'Hai, Haruhi-san'," Haruhi said, getting down from the tree, walking away from Kyon, and curtseying for Shamisen. _Nya_, he repeated, for he was a cat; he couldn't really say anything else.

"Oh, but you would! You'd be just like people, Shamisen, and all the other animals, too. Why…in my world…" Haruhi said, and began to sing absentmindedly:

_Cats and rabbits would reside in fancy little houses_

_And be dressed in shoes and hats and trousers…_

_In a world of my own_

_All the flowers would have very extra-special powers_

_They would sit and talk to me for hours_

_When I'm lonely in that world of my own_

_There'd be new birds, lots of nice and friendly how-dee-do birds_

_Everyone would have a dozen bluebirds_

_Within that world of my own, I could listen to a babbling brook, and hear a song that I could understand…_

She looked at Shamisen, and grinned. She kept singing, and dipped her finger into the river as she sang the last word.

_I keep wishing it would be that way_

_Because that world would be a Wonderland…_

All of a sudden, Shamisen noticed Koizumi-kun, but he looked very different. He was wearing a waistcoat, bowtie, his hair was white, he had long white ears and he wore glasses, kind of like Nagato's glasses. He meowed several times to get Haruhi's attention, and she lazily looked up.

"Oh, Shamisen, it's just a rabbit with a waistcoat and a watch-" She did a double-take, and her eyes widened. "A rabbit with a waistcoat and a watch?"

"Oh, my fur and whiskers! I'm late, I'm late, I'm late!" Koizumi-Usagi-san said hurriedly, and started hopping off down a path.

"Huh, that's curious…what could Koizumi possibly be late for? Rather, what could a _rabbit_ possibly be late for?" Haruhi stood up, and looked at Shamisen. Her curiosity burned within her, and she couldn't stand it any longer. She ran after Koizumi, and Shamisen followed behind her.

"Yo! Wait! Koizumi!" She called.

"I'm late, I'm late, for a very important date, no time to say Hello, Goodbye, I'm late, I'm late, I'm late!" Koizumi called back to her.

"Hm…must be really important; like a party or something, maybe!" She kept running after Koizumi. "Koizumi-Usagi-san! Wait! Please!"

"No, no, no, no, no, no, no, I'm overdue! I'm really in a stew! No time to say Goodbye, Hello, I'm late, I'm late, I'm late!" Koizumi hopped into a rabbit-hole nearby.

"Huh…what a strange place to have a party…" Haruhi said and she knelt by the rabbit-hole. She pushed Shamisen away from the entrance and started crawling in. "Ya know, Shamisen, we really shouldn't be—ugh—doing this! After all, we haven't—ouch!—been invited…and often-times curiosity leads to trouble-AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Haruhi had crawled until she reached the part where the rabbit-hole dipped down and fell, and she slipped, slowly falling down the hole. "Sayonara, Shamisen! Goodbye!" She called to the cat, who had miraculously managed to stay up before the dip.

**(A/N: Well that was chapter 1 of Haruhi in Wonderland! Read and review! :D)**


	2. Down the Rabbit Hole

Chapter 2: Down the Rabbit-Hole

Haruhi kept slowly falling for a few more seconds until her skirt ballooned out, like a parachute. She looked around, seeing her surroundings.

"Well…that was close. But, after this I'm gonna think nothing of falling downstairs…" She muttered. It seemed to be getting darker, so she looked around until she found a lamp. She turned it on, and it lit up the entire rabbit-hole. As she slowly floated down, she saw different household objects, such as cabinets, mirrors, grandfather clocks, books, one of which she opened up and read for a few minutes before floating onto a rocking-chair. She leaned back; sighing in pleasure, then fell off when it leaned forward by just a little too much. Luckily, her skirt re-billowed, and she floated again.

"Hm…I wonder if I should fall straight through the center of the earth—AAH!" She fell through a narrow tunnel and her skirt fluttered above her waist, exposing her panties. It re-billowed a few seconds later and her body turned upside down. "…And come out the other side where people walk upside down! But, that's ridiculous, because nobody can—WHOA!" She was cut short when she landed head-first on the small pile of leaves at the end of the fall down. She got up, and dusted herself off, then jumped a few inches off the ground when she saw Koizumi's shadow.

"Yo, Koizumi-Usagi-San! Wait! Please!" She raced after him until she came to a small door, most likely the one that Koizumi went through. She opened it, but it revealed _another_ door, smaller than the first. She opened that door, and the one after that, and the one after THAT until she crawled through to a small hall.

"Curiouser and curiouser…" She muttered, quoting Alice from the book. She saw a small curtain at the end of the hall, and opened it to reveal a tiny door with a shiny gold doorknob that seemed to have a face… She turned the doorknob, and heard a tiny voice yell, "Ouch!"

"Oh!" Haruhi once again leapt off the ground a few inches when she saw the doorknob speak. "_Gomenasai_, _gomenasai_!" She apologized briskly.

"Oh, it's fine," the doorknob chuckled, and Haruhi immediately recognized the face as Kyon's friend Kunikida. "But you did give me quite a turn there!" He laughed even harder as he realized his pun, and Haruhi started to grow impatient. "Get it? Doorknob? TURN? Ha-ha! Since, uh, one good turn deserves another…" He calmed down. "What can I do for you?"

"Well, I'm looking for a friend of mine; he came through here, so, uh, if ya don't mind…" Haruhi said, gesturing to him so as to let her look to see the other side.

"Huh?" Kunikida-Doorknob gave her a confused look, and then shrugged. "Oh, okay!" He opened his keyhole mouth as wide as he could go, and she peeked through.

"Yea, yea! There he is! Move it, buster, I gotta get through!" She said, sitting up, with a determined expression and she reached for Kunikida-Doorknob's nose.

"Uh-uh-uh," Kunikida-Doorknob said, shaking his head. "Ya can't; you're much too big. Simply impassible."

"Ya mean im_**poss**_ible," Haruhi corrected him.

"No, I mean im_**pass**_ible. Nothing's im_**poss**_ible," he laughed.

"Well, if ya put it that way…" Haruhi muttered, shrugging.

"Why don't ya try the bottle over there on the table?" Kunikida-Doorknob asked her.

"What table?" She asked. She turned around and literally, THERE was the table, with a small bottle on it. She yet again jumped a few inches off the floor. "Whoa!"

"Read the directions and di-rectly you will be di-rected in the right di-rection," Kunikida-Doorknob joked.

Drink me, the bottle read. Haruhi read the words aloud, and then sighed. She paused for a moment before putting her lips to it. "Wait…better look first…because I don't wanna drink too much from a bottle marked 'poison'…for it'd be certain to disagree with me sooner or later…" Haruhi muttered, although it was loud enough for Kunikida-Doorknob to hear.

"_Nani desu_?" Kunikida-Doorknob asked, with a confused expression.

"_Nandemonai yo_, just giving myself some friendly advice. But…" Haruhi said, and put the bottle to her lips, sipping it. "Hmm…tastes like takoyaki…ramen…miso soup…vegetable rolls…GOODNESS!" Haruhi, with every food she named shrunk at least a few feet, until she was only about 9 inches tall. "What the hell did I just do?"

"Ya almost went out like a candle," Kunikida-Doorknob joked.

Haruhi looked down at herself, then at Kunikida-Doorknob, for the door was 10 inches. "_Demo ne_, look! I'm just the right size! Now, move it buster!" She ordered again, reaching for the knob once again.

"Uh-uh-uh," Kunikida-Doorknob said again. "I forgot to mention one small thing."

"And that would be…?" Haruhi put her hands on her hips, looking straight at Kunikida-Doorknob.

"I'm kinda…" He started.

"_**Yea**_?" Haruhi asked.

"Sorta…" He looked away guiltily.

"_**Uh-huh**_…" Haruhi pressed on.

"Locked," He admitted sheepishly.

"_Anata ni jodan sa reru nda_!" She said loudly.

"But you've got the key, so—" Kunikida-Doorknob said calmly.

"_**What**_ key?" Haruhi interrupted.

"Aw, now, don't tell me ya left it up there…" Kunikida-Doorknob sighed exasperatedly.

"What?" Haruhi asked, and looked up. Sure enough, there was the key. "Aw, come ON!" She yelled. She tried climbing up the table, only to end up slipping down the leg and falling on her rear end.

"Now what do I do?" Haruhi pouted, and sat there.

"Try the box, naturally," Kunikida-Doorknob lifted his hand and pointed at a little box that appeared right in the space in-between Haruhi's outspread legs, more near her feet.

"Oh!" She jumped a little, and then opened the box, seeing little cookies that neatly read in icing "Eat Me". "Well, alright, but goodness knows what this will do…" She nibbled a bit of the cookie, and jumped. "WHOOOAAAA!" Now she had grown, until her head hit the ceiling, and her foot pressed against Kunikida-Doorknob's face. He spoke, but was muffled due to her foot.

"_Gomenasai_?" Haruhi asked, and moved her foot.

"I said, 'A little of that went a long way'," Kunikida-Doorknob laughed.

"Well, _**I**_ don't think that's so funny," Haruhi said. She pouted again.

"Aw, come on, you'll be fine," Kunikida-Doorknob said, trying to reassure Haruhi.

"Yea, but what if I never get outta here?" Haruhi asked. "I'm going to be such a bad brigade leader for leaving my team…" Her heart broke when she thought of never getting to harass Mikuru, or Kyon, or the Computer Society Prez, and never getting to boss people around. "What if I…" She started to choke up. "What if…if I'm…stuck here…forever?" She started, to Kunikida-Doorknob's surprise, to cry! Her large teardrops fell to the floor, causing large splashes, and one hit Kunikida-Doorknob in the face.

"Aw, come on now, don't cry!" Kunikida-Doorknob tried to calm her down.

"I know, but, I…I just…can't help it!" Haruhi sobbed, her tears flowing down her cheeks faster and heavier than the first few!

"No, no, this won't do!" Kunikida-Doorknob said to Haruhi. "You! You up there! Stop! Stop, I say! You're causing a flood!" Indeed, Haruhi had dried SO much that her tears had made a large pool in the hall! "Oh, look! The bottle! The bottle!" He pointed out the bottle, and Haruhi picked it up. Still sobbing, she took a sip, and shrunk, falling into the empty bottle. She was no longer crying, but now she was annoyed.

"_Yare ya_re…I DO wish I hadn't cried so much…" Haruhi muttered. Kunikida opened his keyhole mouth and the water poured through to the other side.

**(A/N: Well? What do y'all think? :D read and review!**

**Oh, and if u didn't understand some of the things they said, here's what they meant!**

**Gomenasai: Sorry**

**Anata ni jodan sa reru nda: You've got to be kidding me**

**Nandemonai yo: Nothing**

**Nani desu: What**

**Yea. Just giving y'all a little Japanese :9 lol)**


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